Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
