your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
