According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
