He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
