Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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