Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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