By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
