I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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