I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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