its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
