only if we run a train.
done.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
