marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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