That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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