Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
