so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
