we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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