you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
