with your own penis?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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