She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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