Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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