I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
