oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
