new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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