That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
What drink are we having for lunch?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
