Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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