If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.