i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
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He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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