Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
