video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
