Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
