I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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