We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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