I don't usually arrange sex via text message
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
