You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
