i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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