you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
