so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I currently don't understand fingers.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
