You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
