I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
