yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
