Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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