Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
