South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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