I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
