Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
