I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
