it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
