When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
