I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
