So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
