It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
