wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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