tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
