Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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