I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
