Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
