I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
