Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
