I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
